Friday, June 15, 2012

Il fut un temps..

Assalamualaikum and hi yo! :3
For your information, Il fut un temps means 'There was a time..' ;)

There’s something I would like to share with all of you guys. It’s just ‘share’. It’s not like I wanna sympathy from all of you. Don’t get me wrong okay. Lol. Erk. I don’t actually know where to start. But let me start with...
It’s my story. It’s all true. Yeah, Yasmin Soraya’s story.It’s very upsetting and some of you will take it to heart. So, get ready to read it *lol mcm nak terjun bangunan je* O_O

I’m 15, yeah I know, bit young for me to write a sad story about myself. But anyways, it’s my 3rd year in high school. I’m loving every bit of it. But there’s something wrong with me. Something really really wrong. I’m not like all of my friends in school. I’m much different. Unique, but in bad ways I guess *sigh*I’ve learnt a lot about life already and man does IT kill you. Ever since I started standard 4, everything has gone DOWNHILL.  I’m a loving, hyper, generous person but there’s a lot you don’t know about me. I try to hide the pain. My feelings. It works. Most of the time :/

April, May and June 2008. Worst three months of my life. It’s about my family. We.. have some conflict. And everything became worse.  My mom works at TM company in KL. She took my little brother with her. My sister and I, we live with our dad and our grandmother. At first, everything was okay lah. But after a few weeks, I just... I don’t know how to explain it but you know when your mom is away from you. What would you feel? Yeah I know I have my dad and sister. But they’re not my mom. The scent. It’s a total different. I’m not saying my dad is one of the bad guys or something. But he was so busy with his works and his UMNO thing-y. I need some attention too. My school stuffs. All kapuft. Gone. And I don’t even care. I was like, gave up that time. I hate my life. Back there, I knew that my mom was my everything. I missed her so much. And in the house, everyone include my aunt and those stupid neighbours, they  tortured my sister and I. We were mentally tortured. But fortunate for me because I can control my emotions. But not my sister. She was depressed. Yeah in those three months? DEPRESSION for both of us. I took desicion to leave Melaka and move to KL but my dad didn’t allowed me to do so. So I followed my mom to KL. And guess what? I wasn’t schooling for about a month and a half. Very brave ain’t? Ahakz. So does my sister. Protest konon. My dad doesn’t even care. Lol. Yeah but soon we received a letter from JPM. They asked us to go back to school or we’ll be fine Rm 5000. My mom was like, whatever. Hahaha but we have to. If not both of my sister and I will be sent to the Rumah Kebajikan. That was the reason I came back to school -,-

I hate my friends. Not all. But most of them. They liked to insult my family and my life. That’s why I don’t have any best friends when I was in primary school. And you know what, I don’t need one. Because I’m not like the kind of girl who likes to share something to someone who was actually a backstabber. Or we can call them as ‘mulut tempayan’. Same goes to my teachers. I hate them. Again, not all but some of them. I don’t get it, why must they do such a thing. But I believe in Qada’ and Qadar. No worries. What comes around will always comes around. The only person who were always there for me, who keep supporting me, my caunselor, Cikgu Ali. I owe him so much. Every single day, I’ll be seeing him at the Bilik Kaunseling. He’s a good person. Thanks Cikgu :’)

My parents divorced on 26th May 2009. It literally tore me apart. But there’s nothing I could do to stop it. Actually it’s for our own good. My parents, they hated each other. Maybe because their jodoh was only till that particular time. They were arguing, shouting, cursing and worst. So for me, if really they can’t live together anymore, better they seperate. Right?  I know it was stupid for me to do this, but I’ve cut myself 4 times. Numerous slashes each time. I don’t care how much it hurts. That was me. Emo -,-. They bled uncontrollably, it stung. But it made my emotions better. For a bit of time. Then it came back. Everytime I was crying at school, my friends would check my wrist to see if was there. The CUTS. The following year, I was one of the UPSR candidates. I wasn’t actually bother about that stupid exam. I was lifeless, aimless. Every single person in my class were studying hard. But when it comes to me, notheeeeng. Seriously. I don’t care about that UPSR. All I wanted that moment was my mom. My mom besides me. I miss her.

When the day the results came out, my name was announced to be one of the students who have scored 5As. Everyone were clapping and cheering. But I was like... Okay what is going on? Hahaha. The truth is, I don’t know that that day was the day where the results will be announced. That’s why I was so blur. Hahaha xD That day was the most happiest day in my entire life. It’t not about the result that made me so happy, it was about the time when my mom and dad were together back again, hugging me. I was so grateful. Thank you Allah for giving me that most precious apportunity. Something we can’t buy. Something we can’t sell. It’s love and bond. I thank you Allah. You’re the best :’3

Thinking back to the past and saying to yourself “ The past did cut me that deep. But if we stay strong and keep praying. InsyaAllah everything will be fine.” Everything happens for a reason. There’s always good times behind the pain. So now this is me. The new me. I’ve changed a lot after that day. Become a better person. Although there’s still haters who are still bothering me but I just have to put it aside and just enjoy my life. So long suckers! Ahakz. Life without challenges is worthless. Let’s have some fun with all the excitements. We become what we experienced. And one more thing, let's just forget the past and move on. Let's forgive and forget. That's what humans do. Mistakes. Right? Normal lah tu kan? Ngeeee :'D
Wich me luck for my PMR! Hihihihik, and don’t worry I’ll always wish you guys the best too! :3

Much Love and Assalamualaikum , Yasmin Soraya ♥