Ayah ♥

Assalamualaikum and salam satu Malaysia. Ahakz.

As you know, today’s Father’s Day. So I was thinking, maybe I should share something about my awesome Ayah. Hihihik. The greatest Dad in the world I would say x) This man who saw me walk my first steps and the man who i first looked at and called Ayah and also the man who  i turned to in time of need and a man who doesn’t know much of what is being said about your gosipe but continues to listen. This is the man i call my Ayah ♥

His name is Ab Rahman bin Ismail. He was born on 29th June 1970. He’s a harworking man. Strict but a loving person. Understanding and funny too. Sometimes panas baran lah jugak but still he tries to stay calm. I love him. He’s an open- minded person. You can talk to him on any topics. Politics, school stuff, boyfriends, crushes, teachers, educations or even about the world’s history. Seriously. He knows about everything  xD He also loves to watch National Geographic, Discovery Channel or something yang sewaktu dengannya. And guess what, my name was given by my Ayah. Only my name. The rest of my siblings were my mom’s choices. Lucky me :3

Everytime I think of him, I’ll cry. I miss him. We’re far apart. You guys are so lucky because your dad is so close with you. Eventhough most of you would say your dad don’t bother or care about you but at least you see him everyday. Maybe not often but still you’ll be seeing him. Or maybe for some kids who their dad hantar pergi sekolah, you guys dapat salam, cium tangan dia before masuk sekolah. Me? I’m not as lucky as some of you. You should be thankful and grateful.  All of those memories with him, Ya Allah, I can’t forget it. I love him so much. I know I’ve been rude to him most of the time but I love him. It’s just that, I’m afraid to tell him. Shy I would say. We were so close. We laugh. Teased each other. Went shopping together. Having dinner together. Break-fasting together. Went to Pasar Malam together. Everything. Even sometimes he took me to his office and we talked, or he’ll let me play with his laptop in his office. Hahaha! I miss that moment. Ohgod mata bocor pulak T.T

I still remember the time when my mom left us. We lived with our Ayah. He was the dad in the house. The mother in the house. He took care of us like our mother always do. He’s busy with his works but still manage to come back home as early as he can just to spend time with us before we go to bed. Or sometimes, we go out at 3 o’clock in the morning, searching for a stall to have some drinks or maybe eat. His Nasi Goreng Cina! Ahakz~ The best! Even my mom’s pun kalah babe! xD

And now, I lived with my mom and with my stepdad. No offence but I DISLIKE my stepdad. Sorry to say but he’s not my dad. My dad is my AYAH. ONLY AYAH. Only one and there’ll be no other. I am seriously miss him. Today’s he’ll be coming to KL to celebrate father’s day together. Can’t wait! Hihihik, although we’re far from each other but we still contact. We’ll otp or maybe texting. But not that often since both of us have our own commitment. Ayah remarried with Auntie Ina on Ist October 2011. And we'll be welcoming a new born family member. Ngeeee.

Not only that, about a month ago, I just knew from my mom that my Ayah actually pernah puasa Nazar just for me after I’ve lost my strawberrry nieves *some sort of disease*. I was so touched! Seriously. After listen to what mama have told me, then baru perasan! When I was a little kid, not that little lah but still little lah jugak, hahaha, Ayah once took me with him to a few mosques near our house. He gave a comb of banana to each of the mosque we ran into. That time, I wasn’t exactly sure what was going but now I knew what it was for. Mataku terus disaluti kaca *cewah* but seriously betul lah. Haihhh. I love my Ayah. And so should you! :D Now I have nothing more to say but I LOVE YOU. I have to thank my Ayah so much. He gives the best advice. He always told me 'Hidup yang berkat, hati yang tenang'. I don't know what would I do without him. Things are saved and better because of him :')

To Ayah, Min minta maaf atas segala salah dan silap. Min minta maaf if min pernah buat Ayah terkecil hati or terguris perasaan. Min doakan Ayah and Ibu baru bahagia dan berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat.And Ayah jaga kesihatan Ayah. Min risau pasal ayah tahu. Ayah dah lah jauh. If anything happen, susah. Ayah jaga diri baik baik tau. Min nak Ayah ada dengan Min nanti bila Min dah berjaya. Min sayang Ayah. No matter what people say about us Ayah, I will always love you, for A Thousand years. Hahaha like you always say ain't? You're the best! No one can replace you Ayah.  You're #1 :'D

P/s: To all the dads, daddies and fathers out there who actually do take care of their children, I hope you have a wonderful Father's Day! We appreciate you ♥

Much Love and Assalamualaikum , Yasmin Soraya ♥

Il fut un temps..

Assalamualaikum and hi yo! :3

For your information, Il fut un temps means 'There was a time..' ;)

There’s something I would like to share with all of you guys. It’s just ‘share’. It’s not like I wanna sympathy from all of you. Don’t get me wrong okay. Lol. Erk. I don’t actually know where to start. But let me start with...

It’s my story. It’s all true. Yeah, Yasmin Soraya’s story.It’s very upsetting and some of you will take it to heart. So, get ready to read it *lol mcm nak terjun bangunan je* O_O

I’m 15, yeah I know, bit young for me to write a sad story about myself. But anyways, it’s my 3rd year in high school. I’m loving every bit of it. But there’s something wrong with me. Something really really wrong. I’m not like all of my friends in school. I’m much different. Unique, but in bad ways I guess *sigh*I’ve learnt a lot about life already and man does IT kill you. Ever since I started standard 4, everything has gone DOWNHILL.  I’m a loving, hyper, generous person but there’s a lot you don’t know about me. I try to hide the pain. My feelings. It works. Most of the time :/

April, May and June 2008. Worst three months of my life. It’s about my family. We.. have some conflict. And everything became worse.  My mom works at TM company in KL. She took my little brother with her. My sister and I, we live with our dad and our grandmother. At first, everything was okay lah. But after a few weeks, I just... I don’t know how to explain it but you know when your mom is away from you. What would you feel? Yeah I know I have my dad and sister. But they’re not my mom. The scent. It’s a total different. I’m not saying my dad is one of the bad guys or something. But he was so busy with his works and his UMNO thing-y. I need some attention too. My school stuffs. All kapuft. Gone. And I don’t even care. I was like, gave up that time. I hate my life. Back there, I knew that my mom was my everything. I missed her so much. And in the house, everyone include my aunt and those stupid neighbours, they  tortured my sister and I. We were mentally tortured. But fortunate for me because I can control my emotions. But not my sister. She was depressed. Yeah in those three months? DEPRESSION for both of us. I took desicion to leave Melaka and move to KL but my dad didn’t allowed me to do so. So I followed my mom to KL. And guess what? I wasn’t schooling for about a month and a half. Very brave ain’t? Ahakz. So does my sister. Protest konon. My dad doesn’t even care. Lol. Yeah but soon we received a letter from JPM. They asked us to go back to school or we’ll be fine Rm 5000. My mom was like, whatever. Hahaha but we have to. If not both of my sister and I will be sent to the Rumah Kebajikan. That was the reason I came back to school -,-

I hate my friends. Not all. But most of them. They liked to insult my family and my life. That’s why I don’t have any best friends when I was in primary school. And you know what, I don’t need one. Because I’m not like the kind of girl who likes to share something to someone who was actually a backstabber. Or we can call them as ‘mulut tempayan’. Same goes to my teachers. I hate them. Again, not all but some of them. I don’t get it, why must they do such a thing. But I believe in Qada’ and Qadar. No worries. What comes around will always comes around. The only person who were always there for me, who keep supporting me, my caunselor, Cikgu Ali. I owe him so much. Every single day, I’ll be seeing him at the Bilik Kaunseling. He’s a good person. Thanks Cikgu :’)

My parents divorced on 26th May 2009. It literally tore me apart. But there’s nothing I could do to stop it. Actually it’s for our own good. My parents, they hated each other. Maybe because their jodoh was only till that particular time. They were arguing, shouting, cursing and worst. So for me, if really they can’t live together anymore, better they seperate. Right?  I know it was stupid for me to do this, but I’ve cut myself 4 times. Numerous slashes each time. I don’t care how much it hurts. That was me. Emo -,-. They bled uncontrollably, it stung. But it made my emotions better. For a bit of time. Then it came back. Everytime I was crying at school, my friends would check my wrist to see if was there. The CUTS. The following year, I was one of the UPSR candidates. I wasn’t actually bother about that stupid exam. I was lifeless, aimless. Every single person in my class were studying hard. But when it comes to me, notheeeeng. Seriously. I don’t care about that UPSR. All I wanted that moment was my mom. My mom besides me. I miss her.

When the day the results came out, my name was announced to be one of the students who have scored 5As. Everyone were clapping and cheering. But I was like... Okay what is going on? Hahaha. The truth is, I don’t know that that day was the day where the results will be announced. That’s why I was so blur. Hahaha xD That day was the most happiest day in my entire life. It’t not about the result that made me so happy, it was about the time when my mom and dad were together back again, hugging me. I was so grateful. Thank you Allah for giving me that most precious apportunity. Something we can’t buy. Something we can’t sell. It’s love and bond. I thank you Allah. You’re the best :’3

Thinking back to the past and saying to yourself “ The past did cut me that deep. But if we stay strong and keep praying. InsyaAllah everything will be fine.” Everything happens for a reason. There’s always good times behind the pain. So now this is me. The new me. I’ve changed a lot after that day. Become a better person. Although there’s still haters who are still bothering me but I just have to put it aside and just enjoy my life. So long suckers! Ahakz. Life without challenges is worthless. Let’s have some fun with all the excitements. We become what we experienced. And one more thing, let's just forget the past and move on. Let's forgive and forget. That's what humans do. Mistakes. Right? Normal lah tu kan? Ngeeee :'D

Wich me luck for my PMR! Hihihihik, and don’t worry I’ll always wish you guys the best too! :3

Much Love and Assalamualaikum , Yasmin Soraya ♥

Mak Ngah ♥

Assalamualaikum..

Hi readers. Hmm this post extablish a story about my aunt and who was also my babysitter. We were really close. She’ve been like amother to me. I love her so much. But it seems like Allah loves her more. What can I do to stop it? Nothing *sigh*

MAK. That’s what I call her. She’s so kind. Caring. Understanding. Like a mother would do. She have 2 sons and 2 daughters. Her children and I, we’re so close to each other. We’re like siblings. .The eldest is Yusry. But we often call him, Abang Yus. The second one is Yuzlinawati, Kak Wati. The third is Yuzraimy, Abang Amy and the youngest is Yuzhafizah. But her nickname is Nana, Kak Nana.

Back then, when I was still a baby, my mama sent me to Mak’s. I was about 7 months. Mama works so she needs someone to take care of me. Mak always advised me to alwayas study hard. She said “Study hard, people will respect you. Educations are important, no matter where you go, what you do.” The words still fresh in my mind. I still can remember every bit of our times together although we’re far apart. I mean after I moved to KL, we’re distance. But the bonding, it will never fade.

It feels like only yesterday we were laughing and teasing each other. We’ve spent inordinate amount of time together. It’s a big lost for me. Seriously *wipe tears*. Mak and her children have been like my family too. And also Abah, Mak’s husband, my uncle. He’s a hardworking person. I know this man for a very long time. In fact, I knew this family for a very long time. I know the story. Every single story. And I know that they’re strong. They can face anything. Anything. InsyaAllah..

It was Thursday, 14 june 2012, 8.15 am. I was not schooling. Bhahahaha. I was actually still in bed when suddenly my mom knocked my door like our house was in fire -,- I was not in the mood but after I open the door, my mama told me the bad news. I was like *speechless*. I was taken by suprise. I know that Mak have cancer. But the last time I met her, about a month ago, she looks perfectly fine. But I don’t actually know the base of the story on how she was back in the hospital after we visited her. And out of the blue, BAM! She’s gone. I still can’t accept the fact that she’s actually gone. Maigaad my tears just can’t stop running down. Shiiii....

Abah was so sad. He called Abang Yus and my mama. He said he was stunt. He don’t know what to do. He’s blank. My mama asked us to pack our things and get ready to go back to Melaka. When we arrived at Mak’s, everyone was there. I was standing at the back door, crying. Trying to control myself. Then I kissed her forehead. She was so cold. Ice cold. She looked so pail.

Found this on Facebook

I feel like crying right now Ya Allah :'(

And for Kak Nana and family, be strong! There’s always sunshine beyond the rain. Okay? :’)

Mak Ngah. May Allah bless her soul. Al-fatihah..

Much Love and Assalamualaikum , Yasmin Soraya ♥

Ex Petit Ami :3

Assalamualaikum everyone! :D

Korang mesti tertanya tanya apa benda Ex Petit Ami ni kan? hahahaha. It's actually in France. Maksud dia ex boyfriend *ehem* Hahaha. Ada satu kisah ni, dah lama dah berlaku *tak lah lama mana sebenarnya*. But benda ni tak dapat saya lupakan. It’s about one of my ex lover who is now my best friend but not actually one of my best friend or considered as a close friend but we’re still friends. Yeahh I know... It’s complicated... Nak flashback semua. From A till Z. From the very beggining to the very end. You guys don't have to know who is he. Because it's not important. What's important is my feelings towards him. Ngehehe soooo Tadaaaa! *fireworks* Ahakz~

26 April 2012 – Hikhok! Ahakz, guess what. Ni kali pertama saya jumpa si A. Dia kawan mama saya punya anak. Erk, you guys faham kan? O_O So, as I was saying, kitorang meet dekat KLCC. Pergi lunch dngn dia. Dia kerja dekat Petroscience. As a volunteer. Untunglaaah. Hahaha! Then, jumpa dia dkat food court. Maigaaaad, jantung den nak ‘terbeliak’ je rasa. *terbeliak tu ayat Syera. Actually, terbelit* lol. Dia tinggi gilaaaa weh! Seriously, tinggi, keding nak mati. Sekali tengok mcm traffic light pun ada. Hahaha! Joke. Kitorang borak borak, gelak gelak, menganjing pun ada. Dia kelakar kot. Suka sangat cari pasal -___-' Perangai dia sometimes minta kaki jugak xD After lunch, dia masuk kerja balik, then saya pergi Kino. I was so bored that time. Kena tunggu Hafizah Kay 2 jam. Mati kebosanan aku kat sana -,-Around pukul 5 dia balik and dia nak jumpa lagi sekali since I was going back home at 9 so ada masa lagi. Lepak dekat food court, AGAIN. Hahaha. Then the funny part weh, time kitorang tengah borak borak.... Kitorang duduk dekat dpan escalator, ada lah couple ni, Chinese lah, gf dia peluk bf dia, bf dia ‘comel’, tahu tak gf dia buat apa?! Hahahahaha! Gf dia pukul perut bf dia tu, then produced a weird sound! Bhahaha! Seriously! Then saya dngn A ni, looked at each other then kitorang pun apa lagi. Ketawa non stop kot! Hahaha! A ni pulak boleh pulak kata, perut bf dia tu maybe selalu dijadikan as drum. Malang nya. Poor  thing. Hahaha lol xD So dalam pukul 6, kitorang seperated. Dia balik, and saya still hang dengan Hafizah dkat KLCC. Haihh..That day was amaZAYN *bak kata Lai*. I really do miss that moment. Hm...

Erk. Tangan dah terbelit pulak. Later sambung. LOL. Byeee! :3

Much Love and Assalamualaikum , Yasmin Soraya ♥